Artificial Flavor’s Great American Stimulus PackageMarch 2, 2009

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Do you hear that? Silence.

The economy is wretched. America is terrified. Taylor Swift, Michael Phelps, even Robert Downey Jr. haven’t seen anything this bad.

It’s bad. Real bad.

And Artificial Flavor is here to help.

Our gavel strikes. A deal is drafted. We announce Artificial Flavor’s Great American Stimulus Package.

All change is best performed in twelve easily managed steps. We all know this. And so it goes with our very own Stimulus Package.

Over the next couple of months Artificial Flavor’s team of passionate and shockingly well-dressed patriots will take on America’s weakening economy one elastic band at a time. Steals will be announced. Investments will be made. And edgy designer wear will once again hit the streets.

Our promise is that each step, each one of our industry-shattering deals, will stimulate that fashion urge of yours. And wisely. Always.

And now do you hear that? It’s the masses of the fashionably savvy heading our way, followed by brokers, by Wall Streeters, by Washington-ers. And they’re running.

But you were here first. With us.

And we’re glad you’re here.

Supplies are limited so good luck.

Hearts Open,
The Artificial Flavor Team

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  1. I bought the flak jacket: it’s excellent. Great fit, great style.

    One request: update your size charts to more conventional measurements. I took a shot in the dark and ordered a medium–which fits very well (well, maybe a bit snug, but a large would be too big)–but it would have helped to have had conventional chest, neck, and sleeve measurements.

    Thanks for the great jacket and the great deal.

    Keith remarks on March 10, 2009